Where am I going?

Where am I going?

I begin with these words or as I should say lyrics…

Looking inside me, what do I see?
Happiness, hope and doubt,
what am I all about?
And where am I going?

Although I believe you a beautiful chorus you are like tinnitus, an agonising, infuriating, repetitive ringing of doubt, which never leaves my mind.  Where exactly am I going?  You are the question that I wish I so desperately had the answer to.  No matter which way you think of it, over the next one year, twelve months, fifty two weeks, three-hundred and sixty-five days, it will be time which will go by at the blink of an eye, and you know it!  And I am labelling this precious time a road of self discovery to answer that all important question, to no one else but, myself.

Where I begin on this open road, I can barely generate a thought.  As I slouch, staring out of my window while the rain continues to pour, listening to yet another ballad belt out through my earphones, I begin pondering my thoughts, a dangerous task indeed.  Whether I should ignite this journey with my ever growing passion or my momentary dream, I cannot decide.

Your treasured possessions, your dreamland and most importantly, your escape; yes, you guessed it, your ever growing passion for the world of film, television shows and music.  You watch your idols in amazement and admiration for the talent they display.  But I beg you to not compare yourself to those you think of so highly.  You might not be able to hit a note like Barbra Streisand but you can continue to listen, or transform into a character as Meryl Streep does but you can continue to watch and you might not be able to write a novel as imaginative as Margaret Mitchell but you can continue to read.  Although you cannot compete with these talented individuals, this cannot prevent you from enjoying their work, and don’t you let it.  What is your special talent, or are you still auditioning?

The indecisive individual I am, I try to choose my words wisely.  My ‘momentary’ dream of working at a magazine company, which position and which publication I still haven’t set my mind upon, maybe you know?  I must admit I have some specific preferences, that there must be a mixture of fashion, interviews, beauty and inspirational columns, but most definitely no trashy celebrities included.  I wonder whether you still feel the same.  But let’s not run away with ourselves now, over the next twelve months where would I like to be?  I think you hold the answer but hopefully it will match my estimations of completing everything that is thrown at me to the best of my ability, and produce work that is at my highest level, can you tell me that it is?

Most importantly I hope you have enjoyed the past year, and took part in everything that you wanted to. Remember don’t let good times pass you by, embrace and treasure them!